Meaning what we Say

July 12, 2004

One severe problem we've noticed with getting kids to behave is that we've taught them to ignore what we say, because we probably don't mean it anyway. This can be be anything from idle threats (which never make it into gear) to consequences which never materialize.

Children get the message: don't believe the hype.

We were reminded of this while watching a documentary on the making of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Janet Leigh (right) was given top billing, yet the filmmakers had a bit of a conundrum, being that their star is dispatched in the first fourth of the movie. What would happen if filmgoers walked in after "the shower scene" is they'd never see Janet Leigh.

So they came up with a crazy idea: to not permit anyone to enter the theatre after the movie began. This became quite a sensation, and probably drove up ticket sales, as theatres set up special queues for ticketed folks waiting for their screening of Psycho.

One New York newspaper wanted to see if they could get a patron into the movie after it began, so they could debunk the policy as a mere publicity stunt. So they recruited a pregnant woman, and a man to pose as her husband, and coached them what to say when trying to enter the theatre after the film started.

It didn't work.

The theatre manager was obviously sympathetic to the pregnant woman, so he offered her a seat in his office until the next showing of Psycho, but he could not, would not let her enter the theatre now, as the film was already showing.

We were very impressed by this story. How hard would it have been to let the woman in? It wouldn't have taken any effort, plus it happens all the time with all the other movies, so it really wouldn't have been a big deal, and would have cost nothing.

It would have cost nothing, except for the reputation of the theatre itself.

It would have cost nothing, except for proving that policies are meaningless if you have a good excuse.

It would have cost nothing, but would have reinforced the notion that rules are made to be broken, that we don't mean what we say, that we have not the intestinal fortitude to stand up for the little things that matter in life.

As it is with many schools today with discipline problems.

Chances are excellent that at each school with a discipline problem, there is a specific code of conduct that prohibits the very behaviors engaged in constantly within its walls. So what have the students learned?

They've learned through experience (not by words) that the code of conduct isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

There was an elementary school in Philadelphia which had a chronic problem with fights--every week there were fights at the school. Each time one would break out, the principal would broadcast over the loudspeakers, "This school has a zero-tolerance policy for fighting." Did we mention that weekly there were fights at the school?

The kids were definitely getting the message.

Unfortunately, the message wasn't the one the Principal was giving with her words, it was the one she gave with her actions, or more importantly her lack of action. And the fights continued.

If we as educators began meaning what we said, our words would become more valuable.

The children are listening.